The Preacher

Note from Sandy: I asked the preachers' wives who contacted me and said that they wanted to be a part of presenting this special series what issues needed to be addressed concerning the preacher's wife. Karen Chason sent me her list. Karen agreed to allow me to present her list as an article for you to consider:

Preachers wives have no "position" in the church. Our "job" is to be a helpmeet to our husbands and take care of our children and home. I feel many brethren have the "pastor" mentality, that the pastor and his wife do everything and are involved in everything. I see no scripture for this.

Another thing I think puts a lot of strain on a preacher's wife is her husband's zeal to save the whole world but forgetting about his family and their spiritual needs. I think this is a bigger problem than we like to admit.

Brethren seem to think we should be perfect as the preacher and his family. Our children never step out of line, husband and wife never disagree, he never has any struggles, and she keeps a spotless house. The list is endless.

Money. It amazes me that brethren are absolutely mortified that the preacher may make as much as they do. I do not understand this. Where in the scriptures does it say the preacher should live at poverty level?

There is no job security. If the brethren, or one person, decide they no longer want you for any reason (it may have nothing to do with scripture or what you're teaching but be personal) you can be "let go" with no warning and no "unemployment". If the church is functioning as it should this should not happen, but it does more often than people know or care to admit.

Support for wives, a lack of someone to confide in should be addressed. As the preachers wife we are not suppose to have any problems. Huh? Everyone has struggles.

Another big issue I see is the lack of older women taking on the responsibility of teaching the younger. Many younger (and older) preachers wives could benefit greatly from ladies classes. Maybe it wouldn't be a personal one on one support, but it may be enough to help her, build her up, edify her.

It amazes me that brethren are shocked that the preacher's family has no insurance or retirement. We have to find ways to pay these. They are shocked that we don't have health insurance but don't understand that we don't get group rates through our "employer" so for us it would cost $600 - $1000 per month.

I know some of these are not specific to the preacher's wife, but I feel strongly that they very much affect her and her stress level. I could probably go on but I guess that is enough.

Another note from Sandy: A preacher's wife can sometimes relate to a tiny degree to the following words penned by the apostle Paul:

We are fools for Christ's sake, but you are wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are distinguished, but we are dishonored! To the present hour we both hunger and thirst, and we are poorly clothed, and beaten, and homeless.... Being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we endure; being defamed, we entreat. We have been made as the filth of the world, the offscouring of all things until now. I do not write these things to shame you, but as my beloved children I warn you.... (1 Cor. 4:10-15)