This passage is in the context of a very sad story. When Amnon loved and desired Tamar, daughter of King David, his friend encouraged him and led Amnon to commit fornication with Tamar. However, unlike so often today, the story does not end here. They did not decide to live together for a few years and then finally get married. It was NOT considered okay. Tamar defended her virginity (not because Amnon was repulsive, but because her virginity was special to her) and even wore distinctive clothing to demonstrate such. Today, these thoughts and actions are almost never seen, but instead most mock virginity. The spirit of mocking virginity is performed in many ways … many provide their children with contraceptives and encourage "safe sex"; others produce and enjoy movies which center around the audience laughing at someone who has remained a virgin. We rarely teach and train our children in this area, but instead often leave it up to society, peers, and school to impart "wisdom."

SO, WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

We MUST engrain in our children the truths that Tamar knew and proclaimed. (2 Samuel 13:12-13).

1. Tamar knew that premarital sex is always wrong (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

Sex outside of marriage is not made right when I "love" the other person; it is not made right when I become a legal adult; and it is not right when I plan to marry.  First and foremost, we must have a respect for God's laws and understand that they supersede anything I may want.

2. Tamar knew that fornication is foolish.

Fornication is something that is usually ONLY done after many other progressively foolish or sinful actions. Amnon plotted on how he could carry out the act. Whether we plot or not, a  properly trained conscience will only participate in such after a time of being deprived from righteous thinking (Philippians 4:8) or after allowing lust to take root in our hearts (James 1:13-15). We must all take such preventative steps against this sin, which is so rampant in our society.

3. Tamar knew that fornication brings shame.

God always forgives the penitent sinner, but honor and trust are much more difficult to regain …  it is something which can never be undone.

4. Tamar knew that fornication makes fools.

Proverbs 7:7-27 speaks of a young man without understanding. He passes by the way of a harlot. She speaks longingly to him and draws him in.

It may feel good and fun, but like the story of the spider and the fly, the end of fornication is always destruction.

5. Tamar knew that there is a right way (God's way)!

Sexual love can be properly expressed within the marriage vows. However, we should not simply jump into marriage to fulfill our lusts. We must focus first on the traits of a Godly woman (Titus 2:3-5; Proverbs 31). We must train our daughters to be the kind of women God wants and the kind of woman a Godly man would love. Then, we must teach our daughters the qualities of a Godly man (Titus 2:6-8) and help her spend time with and eventually choose a young man who is and will be, as God wants him to be.

Tamar's story is a very sad one. And yet, we can speak highly of Tamar because she saw her virginity as a special treasure – to be guarded and to be proud of. If we could all gain the knowledge and spirit of Tamar, many sins and heartaches would be avoided.

1. Fornication and adultery were condemned under all law systems. Give one Old Testament verse and one New Testament verse to indicate such.

2. Look up "foolish" in an English dictionary. Why is fornication foolish (besides the fact that it is sinful)?

3. List three other things that the Bible distinguishes as foolish and the references.

4. Does fornication shame only the participants? If not, who else?

5. If a marriage partner commits adultery, repents, and is accepted back by his or her spouse, can trust ever be regained? If so, how?

6. What can a single person do to avoid walking down the path of foolishness as the young man in Proverbs 7:7-27?

7. Besides the suggestions above, what can a married person do to avoid walking down the path of foolishness as the young man in Proverbs 7:7-27?

8. Discuss some early measures of planning or prevention that will help us "follow the right way."

9. List some traits that we as women must possess to be Godly women.

10. Discuss some ways that we can help our daughters have the spirit of Tamar in defending their virginity and/or taking pride in their virginity.