Dating With A Biblical Perspective

Now that we have considered why and when one should date, our next question is, Whom should you date? Most people simply go about their daily business, and if they meet someone that "strikes their fancy," they pursue that person. Some people may be more selective and may actually have a list of qualities that a potential date must posses.

Sadly, many lists would look something like this, "1. Good looking 2. Dresses nice 3. Drives cool car 4. Popular....." Obviously, these are not the building blocks of a successful relationship. Worldly goods are never a testament to character. Jesus warned that "a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth." Luke 12:15. Showing interest in someone simply because of the things they can give us is a dangerous game to play. "For what shall a man be profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and forfeit his life?" Matt. 16:26.

One must bear in mind that "evil companionships corrupt good morals" 1 Cor. 15:33. Christians should have one question at the top of the list when considering a prospective mate: "Will this person help me get to heaven?" If the answer is yes, then you could continue finding out more about the person to see if your beliefs, interests, etc. are the same. If the answer is no, then why would a Christian pursue a lifelong relationship with that person? Such action would make no sense whatsoever. 2 Cor. 6:14 says, "Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers... " Here, Christians are warned not to have intimate associations with those who are unbelievers. A wise Christian who is truly striving to get to heaven will not consider marrying anyone who is an unbeliever, and for one to date a person whom he or she would not consider marrying would be a grave and foolish mistake indeed.

Another point to think about is the fact that just because someone attends worship services doesn’t mean that they are a faithful Christian. Many, many people have obeyed the gospel initially, and then attended worship services with the Lord's people for years without ever truly giving their life to Christ. One who is focused on serving God will want to make sure that whoever he or she is interested in also has that same focus. "No man can serve two masters" Matt. 6:24, but there are many people who try. These are the lukewarm Christians (Rev. 3:15,16), who try to keep one foot in the church and one foot in the world. This kind of person makes God sick, and is obviously not the type that a faithful Christian would want to marry.

Privately seeking advice from older, faithful Christians, and forming a friendship before you begin a relationship with someone can be profoundly helpful in determining the character of that person. When seeking a mate, we should heed the principle which Christ used in Matthew 12:25 "...Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand." We must remember that in the foundation of a home, unity in Christ must be the cornerstone.