Dating With A Biblical Perspective

What do you think of when you hear the word dating? Maybe you envision a young couple sitting in a movie theater, or enjoying dinner at a nice restaurant? Perhaps the face of a certain person comes to mind. "Date" is defined in The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language as: "An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest." Typically, dating involves two people spending time together at different places - most often alone.

For the past few decades, this has been the most common means of finding someone to marry. However, many have become frustrated with the pitfalls of dating, and in recent years there has been a rise in the popularity of "courting." Courting revolves mostly around group settings and is very goal oriented. The goal is to determine, in a non-compromising way, whether or not two people are suited for marriage. In contrast, the focus of dating is usually not on commitment, but on satisfying the emotional (and sometimes physical) needs and wants of the individuals.

Some people seem to center their concern around whether they call their approach "dating" or "courting," but as helpful as it may be to make a differentiation between various methods, the issue is not "dating" versus "courting." The real issue is this, "Am I following God’s word in the way I carry myself and in the way I am treating others?" The Bible does not specifically address the topic of dating, but it can help us with "all things that pertain unto life and godliness" 2 Peter 1:3, so let us look into the Bible and apply its principles to the subject of dating.

When studying history, one realizes that dating is really a new concept. Until the invention and widespread use of the automobile, couples would get to know one another under the supervision of their parents, and a young man would not ask to call on a young woman unless he was prepared for marriage. In Bible times, parents were very involved in the choosing of a mate for their children. In fact, children rarely had much say in the matter! In Genesis 24, we find that Abraham is concerned for Isaac’s future and he sends his servant to find a suitable wife for Isaac. The trust that Isaac and Rebecca had in God and their parents would put most young people of today to shame. I am not suggesting that children should have no input in the matter of whom they marry, but simply that it would be wise for parents to play an important part in helping their children choose mates.

In the next few articles, we will look at four questions concerning dating. First, Why should one date? Second, When is one ready to date? Third, Whom will you date? And fourth, How will you date? We must keep in the forefront of our mind that Christians are to be the salt and light of the world (Matt. 5:13-16), and as such, it should be obvious to the world that we are different. Romans 12:2 commands us, "And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God." This applies to all areas of our lives, and we would do well to continually examine ourselves to make sure that we are doing the will of God.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

My name is Julia Jensen, my parents are George and Joy Jensen and I have three siblings. My family currently lives in Guthrie Center, Iowa and my Dad preaches for the Menlo church of Christ. We have lived here for almost five years. Previously, we lived in California where we worked with the Airport church of Christ for 5 years, and then with the Pacifica church of Christ for 8 years.

I obeyed the gospel in the year 2000, and have had the privilege to go on mission trips to New Zealand, Jamaica and India. Lord willing, my family will be going on a mission trip to Africa in May of this year. I enjoy going on mission trips and teaching Bible classes, as well as photography, drawing, calligraphy, writing, cooking, and many other things!

I am 18 years old, and I graduated in May of last year. I was homeschooled throughout all of my education, and I am continuing to take classes at home right now. My goal is to become a godly wife and mother someday, so I am working on developing my homemaking skills. Right now, I am trying to focus on using this valuable time as a single Christian to serve God in the best way that I can.