Pray for God to Help You to be a Good Wife

By Dena Ivie

"For three things the earth is perturbed, yes, for four it cannot bear up: For a servant when he reigns, A fool when he is filled with food, A hateful woman when she is married, and a maidservant who succeeds her mistress."  (Proverbs 30:21-23)

The dictionary defines hateful as "full of malice or ill will." The KJV translation for this verse uses odious, which has the meaning "extremely unpleasant or repulsive."  In Proverbs, there are five verses which speak of a wife as contentious or given to provoking argument. One example is Proverbs 21:19, "Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman."

At times, I have felt as Paul did in Romans 7:18-20, "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me."

Sometimes, the way I wish to be is not the way I really act. Why? I have allowed the flesh (sin) to control, rather than the Spirit of God that dwells in me because I am a Christian.

What is the solution? I must pray and ask God to help me be a good wife.  Colossians 4:2, "Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving."

Then, do I automatically become a good wife? No! I must continue praying, AND I also work at becoming a good wife.

To understand what it is to be a good wife, I go to the One who established marriage. Genesis 2:18, "And the LORD God said, 'it is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." 

God is the One to best teach me how to be a good wife. I must carefully study the best marriage manual ever written – the Bible.

I find good instructions in Titus 2:3-5, "the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things -- that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."  No matter what my age, there are always older, godly women who can teach and encourage me how to better love my husband and how to be a better wife.

I study Ephesians 5:22-33 and find more commands for both husband and wife. In Ephesians 5:33 I read, "Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." 

The dictionary defines respect: 1) feel or have respect for; 2) avoid harming or interfering with; 3) agree to recognize and abide by." Do those definitions fit God's command to the wife? Certainly!

Proverbs 12:4, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones."  Do I want to be an excellent wife? Yes! Then I must never cease asking God to help me be this kind of wife!

QUESTIONS

1. Read Proverbs 30:21-23. What word describes a married woman in this verse?

Is it a compliment or shame to be described in this way?

2. List words that describe a hateful wife.

Is God pleased with a wife who fits these words?

3. Find another verse in Proverbs that describe a hateful wife.

4. List words that describe a good wife.

Is God pleased with a wife who fits these words?

5. Find a verse in Proverbs that describe a good wife.

6. Why does prayer help one become a good wife?

7. What must one do in addition to praying if she desires to be a good wife?

8. Read Ephesians 5:22-33 and list the things a good wife will do.

9. Give another verse(s) that gives commands concerning how to be a good wife.