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Her Life Demonstrates Her Love

Robin Burroughs

We had been to their home many times for lunch on a Sunday afternoon and for dinner during the week. I recall that she always sang or hummed a hymn. She always seems to enjoy cooking. It was the opposite at our home. I grew up in a family of eight boys and one girl. Of course the girls (my mother and me) were responsible for the inside jobs…cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, ironing, etc. My mother was neutral about her position; never complaining, just doing. I despised hand washing all those dishes, and I did not care for the other chores I was required to do. I brought this attitude into my marriage. Oh, it was fun at first; but once it became "my" duty, all those feelings from my childhood came back! I came to realize, after spending time at my friend's home, that I was missing something. I asked her one day while she was preparing dinner why she seemed to enjoy it. She told me that she loved her husband and her girls very much. She loved cooking for them and taking care of them. You see, the part that I was missing was the demonstrated love for my family. Although I loved them very much, I did not associate the chores as a way of expressing my love. I wish that I could get back all those years I spent unhappily washing those dishes. I could have been singing!

"Who can find a virtuous wife?" .... (Proverbs 31:10a)

Definition of virtuous: good, righteous, pure. A conforming to standards of what is right and just and to approved codes of behavior; goodness implies inherent qualities of kindness, benevolence, and generosity.

The virtuous woman is a woman of strength; though the weaker vessel, she is yet made strong by wisdom, grace and fear of God. Perhaps one reason for the rarity of a virtuous woman is that she is seldom sought. We seek to instill these qualities in our daughters but forget to teach them to our sons. We need to teach these qualities to our sons so that they will desire to seek out a virtuous woman.

"She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all." (Proverbs 31:26-29)

One of the things that makes her such a godly, wonderful, wise woman is the fact that she has control over her attitude and over her mouth. We always end up speaking those things that are in our heart, so our heart must first be yielded and submitted to God. When she speaks, she speaks with kindness and graciousness – on her tongue is the Law of Kindness. The Law of Kindness is the Law of Love. Her mouth only speaks things that will bless and benefit others, even if it is a rebuke. She speaks the truth in love.

She minds her own business and does not poke her nose into other people's affairs; but when asked, she speaks forth with skillful and godly wisdom. This takes much prayer on her part. She takes good care of her family and makes sure that their needs are met. She is not lazy and does not waste her time gossiping or complaining; neither does she listen to others gossip and complain. She is not manipulative, nor does she dwell on the negatives or feel sorry for herself. She enriches the lives of others. She is a woman to look up to. This is the reason she can be praised by her husband and her children. She truly lives her life for God and, thus, demonstrates her love for her husband. To be compared to these virtuous women would be a great honor.

Questions:

1. Define virtuous.

2. How is the best way we can instill the qualities of a virtuous women in our sons and daughters?

3. How does one obtain wisdom? Please list the scriptures you found.

4. What is the "law of kindness"?

5. How do we watch over the ways of our households?

6. What is meant by the "bread of idleness"?

7. How can we have control over our tongues?

8. The Bible has a lot to say about the tongue. Do a word study on the tongue?

9. List some ways you can use your time during the day to honor God.

10. Of all the things that could be said about you, how would you prefer to be remembered by your husband?