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Fervent Love Ignores All the Petty Things

By Dena Ivie

"Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart." (1 Peter 1:22)

When I read this title, I knew I needed to write on this topic! Why? Certainly not because I have "mastered" this – but because I recognized an area in which I need to continue working. Just about the time I feel I am doing a "good job" at ignoring those petty things, I slip up and allow some inconsequential thing to upset me! I would do well to remember 1 Corinthians 10:12, "Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall."

Is there a solution to this problem? Is it really possible to have a fervent love that ignores petty things?

Consider the definition of fervent: "intensely passionate, earnest, stretched out." In other words, a fervent love is not a lukewarm or indifferent love. Rather, it is a love that is intense and earnestly continues.

Consider also the definition of petty: trivial, small and of little importance, not worthy of consideration or notice.

Therefore, if I have fervent love, I will ignore things of little importance that bother me. Does that mean I ignore my husband? No! I will ignore things that really do not matter. To do this, I must keep my love for my husband growing and intense; it cannot become lukewarm.

Remember Jacob and his love for Rachel? Genesis 29:20, "So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her."  Does this speak of fervent love?

These words also speak of fervent love: Song of Solomon 8:7, "Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised."

Perhaps I need to ask myself what happens that causes me to notice the small and insignificant things that should not matter. It seems to be during times of extreme tiredness, illness, discouragement or other difficulties being faced that I fail to ignore the petty things. Perhaps it is a lack of faith during those times, rather than a lack of fervent love for my husband.

Therefore, my faith must also continue to increase. "But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." (2 Peter 1:5-8) As I add to my faith, I can increase the fervent love for my husband and learn, better, how to ignore petty things.

A careful study of the characteristics of love will also be of great help as I grow in fervent love. "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Prayer is another very important help in being able to ignore petty things. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

Please refer to the devotional titled "Pray for God to Help You to Be a Good Wife" for additional thoughts on prayer.

Isn't it wonderful how God's words all fit together and help us become wives who truly love our husbands and love God?

QUESTIONS

1. Give the definition for fervent.

2. Give the definition for petty.

3. List things your husband might do that would be considered petty.

4. Are any of the things you listed in question #3 important enough to cause you harm or true distress?

5. Determine what it is that causes you to become upset over petty things.

If this is not a problem to for you, then good for you!

6. Write down a "plan of action" to help you control this problem.

If you have already conquered this, good for you!

7. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and make a list of the characteristics of love.

Realize the word for love in this passage (agape) is defined as unselfish love, with pure motives, that desires the best for others.

8. Make a list of verses from the Bible to help you ignore petty things.

Read these verses often!

9. List things you can do to continue growing in fervent love for your husband.

10. Love your husband fervently and ignore the petty things!