Syllabus  

PART 3: DECISIONS PECULIAR TO GENDER

LESSON 6: BEING A GOOD WIFE AND MOTHER

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.  For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting” (Galatians 6:7-8).

As a woman becomes a wife, she also becomes a keeper at home (Ti 2:5).  She is to guide the house (1 Tim 5:14).  The virtuous woman has many wonderful qualities which could be discussed (Pro 31).  There are good or bad decisions that definitely affect how well this role can be fulfilled.

For many of us, being a wife and mother is one of our most notable goals, and this is good.  By having this as one of our goals we acknowledge that we are not expert.  (1 Cor. 8:2)  This includes those who are preparing and those who are already wives and mothers.

·         Gen 2:24—Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and   shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

·         1 Tim 5:14—I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

What’s going to make your dreams come true? What about that white dress? Decisions you make from the time you’re little WILL impact your life as a wife/mother (Gal 6: 7-8).  One thing is needed and that is preparation--not just the white dress.  Remember that the white dress is symbolic of purity.

·         Revelation 21:2—And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

·         Rev 19:7-8—Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.  And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.

WE, AS WIVES, ARE COMMANDED TO ADORN OUR HEARTS TOO:

·         “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement” (1 Pet 3:1-6). 

·         “Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also” (Mat 23:26).

I.  NEED FOR PREPARATION:

A.  IS BEING A GOOD WIFE AND MOTHER AUTOMATIC?

1. If so, the Lord wouldn’t have given the direction he does in Titus 2:3-5.

“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

2. IF YOU THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW ENOUGH AND HAVE THE QUALITIES YOU NEED TO BE A GOOD WIFE AND MOTHER, BEWARE!

·         Pro 28:26—He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.

·         Pro 3:5-7—Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes:

B. WHAT ABOUT ON THE JOB TRAINING?

1. So you say you’re pretty busy now, and besides, you’ve watched your mom for years, and it’s not that big of a deal.  You’ll just learn anything you don’t already know as you go along.

2. Well, you could do that!  So could a brain surgeon learn on the job, but he might make a few critical mistakes, too, here and there!  That’s obviously not optimal.

3.  LIFE IS REAL-TIME. Moments sometimes matter!  Being a wife and mother is a FULL TIME JOB.  It isn’t optimal to just start and plan to learn along the way, because there just isn’t TIME to learn all you need to know when you’re in the middle of it!  The more you learn now, the fewer mistakes you’ll make, and the better “brain surgeon” you will be!   We need to make ourselves ready.

C. PREPARATION WILL GET YOU A BETTER “CAREER.”

IF you prepare yourself now, does it seem reasonable to assume that the Lord might TRUST you with an even better husband and children? Look at Bible examples, like Mary, Ruth… 

Pro 19:14  House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.

It’s a lot easier to prepare than to try to UNDO and FIX later!  This is no joke! Be wise, circumspect Remember the 10 virgins, 5 wise, 5 foolish.

 D.  PREPARATION TIME IS FINITE:  YOU’RE TICKING OFF YOUR HOURS!

Psa 90:12—So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

 IF you honestly and truly want to be a good wife and mother, what are you doing about it right now?

 II. HOW TO PREPARE:

1. FIRST AND MOST BASIC WOULD BE TO DECIDE WHETHER WE WOULD SOW TO THE FLESH OR TO THE SPIRIT:

·         Gal 6:7  Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

·         Gal 6:8  For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

a. Will we live our lives unto ourselves or according to God’s purpose? The basis of your life will determine the basis of your marriage and motherhood, and its’ SUCCESS OR FAILURE.

b. How does God tell us to prepare? What’s your aim supposed to be as an unmarried girl?

·         *1 Cor 7:34  There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: 40. sacred (physically pure, morally blameless )

·         *1 Ths 4:7  For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.We see from this that the opposite of uncleanness (or impurity) is holiness.

·         *2 Cor 7:1  Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

2. FROM WHAT (PARTICULARLY) DO WE NEED TO CLEANSE OURSELVES?

TO BE A “GOLD” VESSEL, WE MUST FLEE YOUTHFUL LUSTS

2 Tim 2:19-22  Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity. But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour.  If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work. Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

  1939. epithumia, ep-ee-thoo-mee'-ah; from G1937; a longing (especially for what is forbidden):--concupiscence, desire, lust (after). #1937. epithumeo, ep-ee-thoo-meh'-o; from G1909 and G2372; to set the heart upon, i.e. long for (rightfully or otherwise):--covet, desire, would fain, lust (after).

 WHAT ARE SOME COMMON YOUTHFUL LUSTS?

1) Focusing on the outward man instead of the inward man, attempting to appeal to others by physical beauty or attire.  Immodesty.

 Face it:  as young girls, you’re as beautiful now as you’ll ever be in your life.  It’s a very REAL temptation to be proud of that, and want everyone to notice!  But BEWARE!

If we learn to trust in our own beauty when we’re young, to use and abuse it, we’re going to be trusting in something fleeting and deceitful.  Every one of us gets old, and our beauty fades.  Then with what are we left?  What we REALLY were in the first place: yourself, your heart, your character.  (Not to mention that people probably still see our personality flaws in spite of our pretty face!  It makes our flaws that much more glaring!)

Which is wiser, spending two hours in front of the mirror moaning over a pimple and getting exactly the right look from an outfit, or spending that same time focusing on reading our Bible or doing a good work?  Which one is LASTING? He tells us that directly:*1 Pet 3:3-4  Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;  But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible,

2) BUT THERE IS A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF ATTENTION WE NEED TO PAY TO OUR OUTWARD MAN.

2887. Orderly, i.e. decorous:--of good behaviour, modest.

decorum: propriety and good taste in bahavior, speech, dress, formality in rules of conduct or behavior established as suitable to the circumstances; decency – propriety, dignity, in keeping with self respect

3) IMMODEST APPAREL SUGGESTS THAT YOU DON’T VALUE OR RESPECT YOURSELF enough to keep your beauty for special use.  Remember that fine china is for special occasion, dime store plastic is for anything you want.  You’re making your beauty not only CHEAP, but FREE if you’re using it indiscriminately.

Promiscuity: characterized by lack of discrimination, without plan or purpose, CASUAL

4) MODESTY DEFINED:

 “But,” somebody says, “It’s socially acceptable to wear T-shirts that are so tight the only thing left to the imagination is skin color variation!  That’s just the style, and nobody notices me above anyone else.  OK, let’s all move to Africa and go topless! Yeah, RIGHT!  Modesty isn’t determined by those around us, it’s determined by GOD.  Our society has been CONDITIONED into such a lack of discretion they think certain things like miniskirts, shorts, halter tops, bikinis, and so on are OK.  The natives in Africa are just a step further, that’s all.  But face it, even the world says immodesty is “To expose or highlight one’s body in a bold or forward way –opposite of shy or humble,” according to Webster’s. That covers a lot of territory!

5) RATIONALE BEHIND IMMODESTY:

WHY do people wear tight or revealing clothes? They do it BECAUSE they think they LOOK GOOD in it!  They get noticed!  WHY?  Other people enjoy seeing them that way, of course!  They get compliments, etc.  That’s pleasure others don’t even have to pay for!

6) RATIONALE BEHIND MODESTY:

As Christians, we should WANT to dress modestly, as God commands.  Aside from that, as women, we need to have enough self respect to dress modestly.  We need to err on the side of caution, not wantonness!  If someone says something to us about something we’re wearing (including our old fuddy-duddy parents!!!) and we get defensive, we’d better beware!  Why does wearing it matter so much?  Could we be seeking the praise of men?  If that’s not our reason, then we’ll be willing to accept the suggestion, and be fine with changing to something else!

7) THE EFFECTS OF IMMODESTY ON A MARRIAGE:

How will being vain or immodest affect a marriage?  It cheapens it.  Your body doesn’t just belong to him; it belongs to anyone who cares to look.  We might as well work at Hooters!  Only at least they have enough self respect to ask for pay!  SAVE your body for HIS EYES ONLY, the way God meant it from the beginning.  That’s part of the beauty of marriage! Then take his breath away!  This brings us to the next topic:

8) FOCUSING ON THE OPPOSITE SEX, DATING, FLIRTING

Obviously, dating can have an enormous impact on a marriage.  So let’s go to where God speaks about dating in the scriptures

He DOESN’T.

Dating is a relatively new institution in history – not introduced until the middle 1800’s. It is a non-Biblical invention of a premarital romantic relationship, originally intended as a means by which one could determine the suitability of another for marriage.  Let’s compare modern dating with the Biblical models of romantic relationships:

Which of these models elevates marriage?  Obviously the Biblical model.  You used to have to sign your life away for romantic privileges.  In the dating model, almost nothing is saved for marriage!  Its sacred privileges are used up and doled out over the course of a lifetime.  Marriage becomes little more than a glorified dating relationship!  And as cheap as marriage is these days, it’s easy to trash!

9) SIDE-EFFECTS OF DATING:

1. Heartburn: Your heart is emotionally bonded and torn apart multiple times.  Because of repeated hurts, a person tends to become guarded.

2. Wrong concept of love: I know I love you because I’m so gratified by you.  We create the perfect chemistry…(How many married people are going to tell you that their marriage is stronger because of all the passion they shared before?)

3. Tends to cloud our thinking, not clarify it as intended:  We focus less on each other’s hearts and minds, and more on each other’s bodies.

4. Trains us for divorce: If dating doesn’t work, ditch the creep!  If marriage doesn’t work …

5. Creates standards of comparison: Who was the most romantic, best kisser, had the best eyes or body…

You’ll always have those memories, even after you’d rather not!  With God’s way, you never knew any difference! (-;

6. Develops an appetite for variety and change: When one relationship becomes dull, go on to the next date.  How many have said that marriage became unappealing and boring!

7. Places you directly in temptation’s path: If you’re out alone with someone, you’re inviting temptation, not fleeing it!  1 Cor 10:12  Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

BIBLICAL MODEL

MODERN DATING MODEL

Passion:

Passion is a beautiful instrument as God has instituted it within a marriage.  It is granted to couples who have been made “one body” by God’s decree at the time of their vows.  It brings closer emotional union and greater tenderness out of consideration and love for the other person.  “My body belongs to him, I want to please him.”  And he feels the same way about her. I Cor 7: 3-5

 Outside of marriage, passion deteriorates into a tool strictly used for self-gratification. Its beauty as God’s tool is lost, and it begins to tear a person’s life and moral fiber apart. It’s called fornication, and it’s DISGUSTINGLY UGLY.

     4203. porneuo, to act the harlot, i.e. (lit.) indulge unlawful lust (of either         sex),

Pro 7:21-27  With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him. He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks; Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life. Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth. Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.  Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.

 Deceitfulness of Sin:

To circumvent this ugliness, Satan has carefully cultivated a polished, dressed up picture of fornication.  We don’t hear it called “fornication.”  We hear it called, petting, going to first base, or all the way, sleeping together, or having an affair. 

 *We have movies that romanticize it; we see it every day.  It is always polished into something desirable, even respectable.  Would we stand in front of somebody's window and watch them in the act?  Would couples open their shutters to the street to show what they're doing?  You say "NO!"  That is disgusting!  How is it different if we watch it through the shutters of the TV?

 *We don’t call it voyeurism, being a peeping tom – we call it watching a movie.

 *We don’t call them harlots; we call them actresses and models.

 *You don’t hear songs, “Let’s just fornicate…” you hear them say, “Do that to me one more time…”

 THE ISSUE CONFUSED:

This “polite” enhanced way of looking at fornication has confused the issue for many Christians, clouded our thinking.

“Aw, ‘common, a little innocent kiss isn’t fornication – and surely you couldn’t say a little flirting is that extreme!  What’s a little hug?  Big deal!  We’re just showing affection.”

 You walk around Christian college campuses; you see lots of “harmless platonic relationships.” People in youth groups lounging around, hugging each other, their heads in each other’s laps, holding hands, giving each other shoulder massages…

 This is all OK, right? I mean, you know, we’re just Christian FRIENDS, and if you think anything else you’re perverted, and it’s YOUR problem, not ours.

 THE ISSUE CLARIFIED:

OK. Let’s look at that in a little different context.  Let’s say you get married.  You come home from work one day and find your husband or wife in the kitchen giving a shoulder massage or locked in a “hug” with the neighbor from next door.  Now tell me it’s harmless, and platonic!  Suddenly the domain of POSESSION becomes crystal clear! Get your hands off that person!  Your touch belongs to ME!

 TOUCH ELICITS LUST.  You may say, “There’s no command, 'Thou shalt not kiss…'  What’s a little getting 'turned on?'"  Face it - Getting “turned on” is lust.  That little thrill is a chemical process – adrenalin released, then epinephrine, then endorphins the blood leaves the brain…  There are plenty of commands about lust.

Col 3:5-6  Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry. For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:1939. A longing (especially for what is forbidden) desire, lust (after).

Mat 5:28  But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

1 Ths 4:3-5  For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:  That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:

DON’T FOOL YOURSELF, THAT LITTLE “THRILL” YOU FEEL IS SIN.  FLEE IT!

Why is it so hard to see fornication for what it is in your dating years? Because we’ve been lied to, conditioned out of rational thinking! AND because we’re in the middle of the years that our bodies make the temptation strongest.  Don’t let yourself be fooled! God says even LOOKING at a woman to lust after her beauty is adultery! Touch, no matter how slight, goes a step beyond that!

IF YOU’RE NOT MARRIED, YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TOUCH.  YOUR BODY BELONGS TO CHRIST.  I COR 6: 15-18 

1 Cor 6:15  Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.  Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

YOU ARE A TREASURE.  KEEP YOUR PURITY LOCKED UP FOR GOD, AND AS A PRICELESS GIFT TO YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE.

*Song of Solomon 4:12  A garden enclosed is … my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed.

*1 Cor 7:34  There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit:

SO WHAT ABOUT A LITTLE INNOCENT FLIRTING?  

OK, GO BACK TO THE MATTER OF POSSESSION:

What about your husband doing a little innocent flirting with your best friend?  Pretty clear, right?  Flirting, no matter how you THINK it’s intended, is an invitation!  Look at God’s picture of it:

“For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life: To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.  Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.  For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.  Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.  Men do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry; But if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold; he shall give all the substance of his house. But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away” (Pro 6:23-33).

HOW FORNICATION RELATES TO MARRIAGE:

So let’s talk about all this as it relates to marriage: Do you know any married couples that say, “Man, I’m really glad we flirted and kissed and petted before our marriage – It really strengthened our relationship!  And I’m especially glad my wife kissed all those guys before we met, it made her such a superb kisser…”  

NO!

Whatever purity you sell now, is that much LOSS to your future husband and yourself! In order to give yourself immediate gratification, you’re ROBBING him of something God ordained as his alone!  You’re cheapening yourself and your future relationship, and those losses can never be regained!

Elevate marriage to the sanctity God has given it, and don’t permit your dating to rob it!

So we know what we should flee from, generally. But how do you go about making positive decisions to be a good wife and mother?

TRAINING:

It makes sense that whatever we practice, or exercise our hearts in is what we become! We can’t expect to automatically become a great figure skater without a little practice first.

·         1 Tim 4:7  But refuse profane and old wives' fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness.

·         1 Tim 4:8  For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.

·         2 Pet 2:14  Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin; beguiling unstable souls: an heart they have exercised with covetous practices; cursed children:

We can exercise our hearts in either good or evil!  This is a decision we have to make daily: to choose to fill our thoughts and time with good or evil influences. We can surround ourselves with passion-stirring books, inappropriate movies, boy-crazy friends, rebellious music…or with God’s people and His words!  "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he."  (Proverbs 23:7)

·         Col 3:2:  Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

·         Heb 5:14  But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.

·         Pro 4:13-27 Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life. Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away.

·         Pro 4:18-26:  But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.  The way of the wicked is as darkness: they know not at what they stumble.  My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart. For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.  Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.  Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.  Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.

GUARD YOUR THINKER!!!!!

 WHAT IS A WIFE SUPPOSED TO BE?  IN WHAT DO WE NEED TO BE EXERCISING OURSELVES LONG BEFORE WE CONSIDER WHOM TO MARRY?  WILL WE BE THE KIND OF WIFE A RIGHTEOUS MAN WOULD WANT TO MARRY?

 1. SUBMISSIVENESS, OBEDIENCE:

·         Greek 5293. To subordinate; reflex. to obey:--be under obedience (obedient), put under

·         “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (Eph 5:22-24).

·         “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” ( Col 3:18).

IF WE CAN’T LEARN TO OBEY THE PARENTS GOD GAVE US AS OUR AUTHORITIES, HOW DO WE EXPECT TO AUTOMATICALLY OBEY A HUSBAND?

2. REVERENCE:

ONCE AGAIN, IF WE DON’T REVERENCE OUR PARENTS, HOW CAN WE EXPECT TO OBEY THE COMMAND TO REVERENCE OUR HUSBAND OR OUR HEAVENLY FATHER?

3. SERVITUDE:

4.  BE CONSIDERATE:

WE NEED TO REMEMBER THAT WE ARE INDEBTED TO THE HUSBAND FOR HIS PROTECTION AND CARE OF US.  WE DO NOT WANT TO BE LIKE ISRAEL WAS WITH GOD. 

WHO IS MORE WORTHY OF OUR ENCOURAGEMENT AND CONSIDERATION THAN OUR OWN HUSBANDS? 

5.  BEING AN HONOR, NOT A SHAME:

IF WE ARE NOT DILIGENT AND CAREFUL TO BE AN HONOR TO OUR PARENTS, WILL WE UNDERSTAND HOW TO HONOR OUR HUSBANDS?  CONSIDER WHAT WE DO EVERY DAY THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BRING HONOR TO OUR PARENTS OR OUR HUSBANDS.

6. TRUSTWORTHY:

7. NOT A GOSSIP:

WILL YOUR HUSBAND BE ABLE TO TELL YOU THINGS THAT HE KNOWS WILL NOT BE PASSED ALONG TO OTHERS?  CAN HE TRULY CONFIDE IN YOU—SHARING THE SECRETS OF HIS HEART?

8. NOT ARGUMENTATIVE OR ALWAYS OPINIONATED:

9. AN ENCOURAGEMENT:

THERE ARE MANY OTHER THINGS WIVES SHOULD BE – ARE YOU PRACTICING NOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE?

WHAT QUALITIES DO WE NEED AS MOTHERS?

1. UNSELFISHNESS – put the children’s needs above your own.

·         “Behold, the third time I am ready to come to you; and I will not be burdensome to you: for I seek not yours, but you: for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children” (2 Cor 12:14).

2. THE ABILITY TO RULE, GUIDE—We must have knowledge and skill beforehand—before we have children.  Time is critical.

·         “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (1 Tim 5:14).

3. ABILITY TO TEACH THE CHILDREN – Mothers must teach the Bible kind of respect, fear of God, self control, modesty, humility, to hold their tongues…  How can we teach these things if we don’t know them ourselves?  Some women may be young in years, yet able to teach neonatology to other women.  Can the same thing be said of women teaching scripture to others?  Number of years in the church is not necessarily a key.  The number of years studying God’s word is the key.

·         “And these words, which I  command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:  And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deut 6:6).

 4. ABILITY TO CHASTEN THE CHILDREN – How can we ask children to accept our chastening if we refuse to accept the same from the Lord?

·         “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying” (Pro 19:18).

TWO TIMES DAVID PRAYED TO THE LORD NOT TO REBUKE HIM WHEN HE WAS ANGRY OR FRUSTRATED WITH HIM.  WE NEED TO REMEMBER THIS WHEN WE ARE CHASTENING OUR CHILDREN.

·         “O LORD, rebuke me not in thine anger, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure” (Ps 6:1.

·         “O LORD, rebuke me not in thy wrath: neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure” (Ps 38:1).

WE CAN TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO CHASTEN THEMSELVES AND THUS WIN OUR FAVOR, THE SAME WAY DANIEL WON THE FAVOR OF GOD.

WE MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT GOD REBUKES AND CHASTENS US FOR OUR GOOD, AND THAT SHOULD BE THE GOAL OF EVERY MOTHER WITH HER CHILDREN—NOT FOR OUR PLEASURE OR VENGEANCE.

5. QUALITIES OF A PEACEMAKER: Being a peacemaker in the family requires good judgment and wisdom.  Where will you get it?  Will you get this quality from God or the world?

WHAT WILL A PEACEMAKER DO?

6.  KINDNESS:

7.  LOVE – HOW CAN WE TEACH AND EXEMPLIFY GOD’S LOVE (I COR 13) IF WE’VE NEVER LEARNED IT OURSELVES?

DON’T TRY TO BE WONDERFUL ALL BY YOURSELF:

FINALLY, WE MUST ALL CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY THAT GOD MAY NEVER GIVE US THE OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE HIM IN A MARRIAGE OR IN HAVING CHILDREN. IT WOULD BE FAR BETTER NEVER TO MARRY, THAN TO MARRY A NON-CHRISTIAN AND LOSE OUR SOULS IN HELL.

GOD MAY NEVER CHOOSE TO GIVE US A HUSBAND OR CHILDREN, OR HE MAY CHOOSE TO MAKE US WAIT FOR A LONG TIME FOR THAT JOB. THAT’S NO REFLECTION ON US! (SARAH, HANNAH, ANNA, ELIZABETH ARE ALL EXAMPLES.) WE SHOULD BE WILLING TO GROW IN THESE QUALITIES AND TRUST GOD TO DO WHAT IS BEST FOR US.  IF WE’RE PURE IN HEART, GOD WILL COUNT THIS TO OUR CREDIT, PERHAPS GIVING US MORE GLORY ETERNALLY THAN A MOTHER OF 12!