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A Christian Wife Does Her Husband Good

By June Smith

"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:10-12

As I began to think about the title of this article, "A Christian wife is not Passive or Aggressive," I tried to think of women from the Bible who were either passive or aggressive. The woman that came to my mind as an example of a passive wife was Job's wife. Poor Job had lost twelve children, his wealth, his friends had accused him of sinning and he was plagued with boils. His wife said, ". . . curse God and die!" Job 2:9 (KJV) Her attitude is not an example of a woman of compassion or concern.

Christian women should exhibit the same kindness and tenderheartedness toward their husbands as they would to anyone else. We understand that we are to speak things that edify and build up our brethren including husbands. Romans 14:19, "Let us therefore follow after the things that make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another." (KJV)

Wives who show respect to their husbands can expect to be respected in return. Luke 6:31, "And as ye would that men should do to you do ye also to them likewise." (KJV) Do you want your husband to treat you with respect? Then you must treat him with respect. Can you imagine a wife who would prepare her husband's favorite meal and intentionally put too much pepper in it to make her husband pay for some imagined or real slight? Such treatment would be a sign of immaturity and a lack of true love. We read in I Corinthians 13:4-5 "Love suffereth long, and is kind ; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;" A godly Christian woman does not plot against her husband to get even or to get her own way.

When one thinks of an aggressive woman from scripture, Jezebel comes to mind quickly.

That aggressive woman threatened the life of the prophet Elijah. On another occasion when her husband Ahab wanted a vineyard, she aggressively schemed to get it. Her plotting included the death of the rightful owner. She was a merciless, self-seeking woman and her name has become a byword for all that is detestable and undesirable in womanhood. God has, in His wisdom, set the order of the home. Ephesians 5:22 says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." (KJV) Worldly wisdom says, "Have it your way." Jezebel had it her way and eventually died a horrible death.

God has given women a role different from men and yet it is a place of honor. Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her."  A godly husband loves his wife as he loves himself. We want to be loved by our men as they love themselves. As a man looks after and meets his own needs, he should also do the same for his wife. He should even be ready to lay down his life for her as Christ laid down his life for the church. We certainly should not ruin a relationship like that by being demanding or aggressive.

There is one last woman in the Bible that I would like for us to consider. She was neither passive nor aggressive. She wisely did good for her husband and not evil even though scripture calls her husband a fool. The woman that I am speaking of is Abigail, the wife of Nabal. David and his men had protected Nabal and under their protection he had lost none of his sheep to the enemy. David sent a request of Nabal asking for food for his men. Nabal was insolent and refused David's request. David was angered and was about to avenge this insult from Nabal by taking Nabal's life. Abigail heard of her husband's rude behavior toward David. She knew of David's intent to harm her husband. She quickly gathered up supplies and gifts and rushed to meet David on his way to harm Nabal. She fell at David's feet and begged him to be patient with her husband. She reminded David that God was the avenger of the wicked. She was received favorably by David. Her tact and wisdom saved her ungrateful husband and it prevented David from an act of rage. Now this is a lady that we want to imitate. Even if we are not in the best of marriages, it serves us well to do good to our husbands and not evil. If we do not return evil for evil we can expect God to bless us as He did Abigail.

A virtuous wife's worth is far above money. Her husband can trust her; so he will not suffer loss. She does him good and not evil for a lifetime. Let's remember that ladies, lets do good for our men. Let's truly love our husbands.

Questions:

1. Who was the passive woman in our lesson?

2. Why do think she was passive?

3. Have there ever been times in your life when you were a passive wife?

4. What could Job's wife have done that would have been more pleasing to God?

5. Name the woman who is listed in our lesson as being aggressive?

6. Did Jezebel's aggressive behavior get her what she wanted temporarily?

7. If we follow Jezebel's example how can we expect things to turn out for us?

8. What characteristics of Abigail make her an example to be imitated?

9. Do we only need to do good to husbands who are good to us?

10. Give a scripture that tells us how we should love our husbands.